何以解忧四

前任与前同桌迎面而来。她侧身，屏蔽不怀好意的笑。一段感情带来了什么?几个月的欢愉，过后数不清的麻烦。

“交一下语文作文。”

“交纸还是交本?”

“交本。”

“交纸吧。看在咱俩这么好的关系上。”什么关系?前任男女友?还是现在几个月不说一句的普通朋友?你在以哪种身份和我说话，我又该以哪种身份作答?此恨不关风与月，关乎人心。

她无法否认，再来一次她还是会无法控制自己，还是会选择开始一段明知不会有结果的恋爱。

今天，是她和前任分手一周年纪念日。她不记得，本来。

联想能力、推理能力、理解能力共同从前任的支言片语，再加上脑子里稀缺不全的记忆，共同推出唯一结论。

原来，已经一年了。一年足够发生什么?足够让她轻而易举说出“我是他前任”，足够让她习惯起哄与嬉笑，足够让她熟悉被一众探询的目光凝视，被品头论足，作为他人口中的谈资。还足够她一点点清理掉一个人在自己生命中的痕迹，简单的用橡皮擦，困难的用刻刀挖。足够让她与陈成重逢，点燃烧过的灰烬。

当年的花前月下卿卿我我恍如春梦，当年的言语闪躲你情我脓恰似浮华，她已经无法想象自己究竟曾以什么样的心境说出那种令人备感情深意重的话，世如春梦，事如春梦，是如春梦。

一夜，新月，闭眼。

“ You can't stop thinking it, can you?”

“ You can't control me, can you?”

“ You don't forget it.”

“ You just do this to beat me. But to be honest, it's useless."

“Oh my poor girl, you aren't peaceful now."

" of course, because I'm angry now. ”

“ No, you' re afraid and sad. You miss him, miss the past and the sweet times.”

“ You are lying!”

“ Why are you shouting at me? Did I say something you hate? Admit it, please. It's what you think.”

“ No,stop this. Go off and shut up."

“ My Little girl, look at you. You are so weak and astonished. It's not a good situation.”

“ It's none of your business!”

“I'm a part of you, How can you say this?"

“No. You are not me. You' re only a shadow."

“A shadow of you.”

“ But you can't make me do anything."

“ Instead of. I can. You just don't notice. ”

“What do you want to do to me?”

“Nothing. Just play with you."

“ Stop here.”

“You can't order me.”

“ But I can ask you and distract you.”

四面边声连角起，千嶂里，长烟日落孤城闭。

大漠或黄沙漫天席卷，孤城立于塞外，日将沉未沉，无人际，层峦。荒，空，远大，无望，出路便地，无形确。

浊酒一杯家万里，燕然未勒归无计。羌管悠悠霜满地。人不寐，将军白发征夫泪，

鼓点铿锵，笛声悠扬，粗犷开腔，婉约收场。“不见黄沙誓不回还，今出玉门生死笑看……”“为君歌舞千百遍，年年愿如梁上燕……”“将军带刀孤身走，金戈铁马覆水收……”“只叹宫墙深几许，不见其中往来人……”大雅之庙堂，浅俗之民舍，剔透的金杯，粗糙的石盏，谁又理会酒如何?能饮便可。萧管幽幽，丝竹呕哑，辽阔转伤凄，猿啼虎啸，浮云蔽日，寒山往来无归期。是无尽头的展望，是无解释的走向。

长袍衣衫扔在半空，三拜九叩止于过去，封建余孽折损剑下，新阶段。

她在冷汗中挣扎睁眼，天光微明。一闭一睁的功夫已是一夜。方才梦中的幻象必储存在哪个地方，目前寻不到。