今日份的搞笑句子
我的特长，知难而退，半途而废，吃喝玩乐，熬夜不睡。
My specialty is to give up halfway, eat, drink and stay up late.
别人一夸我 我就显得局促不安，因为我总觉得他们夸得还不够。
I feel embarrassed when others praise me, because I always think they don't praise me enough.
为什么要提醒我“钱不是万能的”？我才没那么贪心呢。我只想要钱而已，就没指望它万能。
Why remind me that "money is not everything"? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, not everything.
别问我为什么考不好，因为天气太冷，导致我神志不清了。
Don't ask me why I didn't do well in the exam, because the weather is too cold, which makes me confused.
我妈一直以为我瞒着她谈恋爱，其实我真处不上啊妈妈！
My mother always thought that I was in love without telling her. In fact, I really can't get along with her!
长得好看点的人，人生可能是传记，可能是小说，可能是散文。而你，只能是个段子。
For a better looking person, life may be biography, novel or prose. And you, it's just a joke.
大刚问志强：“什么叫台风？你能告诉我吗？”志强回答说：“你真笨！连这都不知道，台风就是从台湾刮过来的风。”
Dagang asked Zhiqiang, "what is a typhoon? Can you tell me? " Zhiqiang replied, "you are so stupid! I don't even know that typhoon is the wind coming from Taiwan. "
有个人说他一双鞋就顶我一个月生活费 ，我笑了我就想跟他说那种二三十的鞋子少穿。
Someone said that a pair of shoes would cover my living expenses for a month. I laughed, and I wanted to tell him that I should wear less shoes in my twenties and thirties.
为了以后我的高冷，我以后不会再回复：哈哈哈哈了。我只会说：谢谢，有被笑到。
For my future high cold, I will not reply: ha ha ha ha. I will only say: Thank you, I have been laughed.
有人说强扭的瓜不甜，那我蘸着白糖吃不就完了。
Some people say that it's not sweet to try to turn things around. Then I'll eat it with sugar.
女人总是喜欢天天买衣服，他们有没有什么时候嫌弃自己衣服多的时候。神回复：洗衣服的时候。
Women always like to buy clothes every day. Do they ever dislike the time when they have too many clothes. God's reply: when washing clothes.
我还是忘不了他，唢呐一吹我就觉得走的是他。
I still can't forget him. As soon as the suona is played, I think it's him who left.
我的进步让他刮目相看，从此他失去了双眼。
He was impressed by my progress, and he lost his eyes.
数学差的人，应该都是很单纯的人。因为，他们想得没那么深，根本打败不了充满心机的数学。
People with poor mathematics should be very simple. Because they don't think so deeply, they can't beat the scheming mathematics at all.
雪瑶（副馆长）：1696字
樱砸（馆长）：本章完
