朋友圈的幽默文案

空有一颗学习的心，偏偏生了一条挂科的命。

Kong has a heart of learning, but has a life of failing to study.

上辈子作恶多端，这辈子早起上班。

I've done a lot of evil in my last life, and I'll get up early and go to work in this life.

今生没做成富二代，那就好好努力，生个好儿子，把儿子赚的钱都没收了，让他做个富二代！

If you don't become a rich second generation in this life, try your best to give birth to a good son and confiscate all the money your son earned. Let him become a rich second generation!

边走路边玩手机游戏很危险，上次我走路玩斗地主，旁边汽车一按喇叭，牌都点错差点输掉，你说危险不危险？

It's very dangerous to play mobile games while walking. Last time I played landlords while walking, when the car next to me honked its horn, I almost lost. Do you think it's dangerous?

有时候晚上睡不着，我会扪心自问：我究竟做错了什么？这时总有一个声音在我耳边响起：这事一晚上可说不完。

Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I ask myself: what did I do wrong? At this time, there is always a voice in my ear: it can not be said all night.

今天我给移动客服打电话，客服接了电话说：“您好，很高兴为您服务。”我说：“你高兴得太早了。”然后就把电话挂了。

Today, I called the mobile customer service. The customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, I'm glad to serve you." I said, "you're happy too soon." Then I hung up.

我向你脸上泼一杯水，就相当于给你洗了个脸。

I pour a glass of water on your face, which is equivalent to washing your face.

创业至今，已开了三家银行：网上银行、电话银行、手机银行。

So far, we have opened three banks: online banking, telephone banking and mobile banking.

我也曾被人挽留过，她拉着我的手说，没买单想走？

I have also been detained, she took my hand and said, did not pay to go?

有天跟儿子聊天。我：儿子，你知道你出生的时候哭得特别凶吗？把你爹我吵死了。儿子白了我一眼：唉，我第一眼看到你，我就知道投错胎了，我能不伤心的哭吗？

One day I was talking to my son. Me: son, did you know you cried so hard when you were born? It's killing your father. My son gave me a white look: Alas, the first time I saw you, I knew I had the wrong baby. Can I not cry sad?你为什么会近视？为了淡看世间事，所以才模糊了双眼。

Why are you short-sighted? In order to look down on the world, so I blurred my eyes.

每天都处在心有余而睡眠不足，心有余而智商不足，心有余而余额不足的状态。

Every day in the heart and sleep, heart and IQ, heart and balance of the state.

富士山终究留不住欲落的樱花，我终究留不住掉落的头发你。

Fuji mountain can't keep the cherry blossoms after all. I can't keep the hair falling from you after all.

好看就是好看，难看就是难看，你们说我好难看是什么意思？

Good looking is good looking, and ugly is ugly. What do you mean I'm ugly?

雪瑶（副馆长）：1834字

樱砸（馆长）：本章完